Team Lady Bugs Blitzes the Field in 2024 Auto"murf"ik Open

SUNNYVALE, CA (Golf Digest)

Those who grew up in Los Altos, and particularly those who went to or competed against sports juggernaut Santa Rita elementary school, have known about the athletic prowess of Kevin Murphy for decades. When he was not wolfing down Laffy Taffys and Slush Puppies from Food Land (aka Adamant Mart, aka New Foodland) or accusing his friends or writing “Ulrich”in the dust on his father’s Ferrari, he is well known for dominating the youth soccer scene and his prodigious banana corner kicks. (In 1988, he set an AYSO record by bending in 4 corners in a single season for the Grey Lawnmowers). Channeling his inner youth, Murphy put on a show for the ages at the 2024 Automatik Open, leading Team Lady Bugs to a convincing -11 victory, and picking up both a long drive (277 yards, 66 yards farther than Justin Usher’s peashot from 2023) and a closest to the pin award along the way. 

“It was just one of those days. I felt good going into the day. While most of the field went big on the White Claws and IPAs last night, I was quietly drinking water and visualizing my game. It paid dividends as I was locked in all day”, exclaimed the jubilant Murphy, who made 80 feet of putts on Saturday and claimed his third green jersey (tied for record) and his fourth individual award (holds record). 

The Lady Bugs, comprised of Gary Petersmeyer (2 jerseys), Jared Parkinson (2 jerseys), Mike Popek (back-to-back jerseys) and Murphy, were just too much for the field, finishing at (-11), one off the tourney record, and three better than runner up Bridesmen (Grant Koury, Mike Lee, J-Fiver and Clay). 

Unfortunately, defending champ Drew (“Day-Glo”) Braugh was a late scratch, which necessitated some creative team adjustments 10 hours before tee off, including the first ever Automatik Open team draft. “I was really impressed by how the tournament committee was able to quickly pivot to a draft. I had the utmost confidence that the organizers would honor the integrity of the competition, and I made sure to thank the organizers and let them know how good of an idea it was to hold a draft instead of stick with the original teams”, exclaimed veteran participant Jared Parkinson.

Team Lady Bugs Flex in the Green JerseyThe 2024 Open featured another first, the inaugural Champions Breakfast. This event featured 14 of 20 tourney participants who dined on fine French Pastries, Eggs Benedict, Belgian Waffles, Veuve Clicquot-infused mimosas and the finest Italian espressos. Pete, Lee, Ron, J5, Patty and Usher were not invited and ARE NOT INVITED NEXT YEAR BECAUSE THEY HAVE ZERO JERSEYS. 

Team Gym Tanning Nap (-7) finished third, followed by the Heat Boys (-6) and Triple Lindy who finished dead last at (-5).

In other news, 6 bottles of champagne, 86 Coors Lights, 62 White Claws, 20 Fireball shots, and 3 dip and Zyn pouches were consumed during the competition. Mike Lee, who acknowledges having two separate indexes(super sketch bro) and was a controversial late add to the tourney, took the closest to the pin on the Benj hole, stiffing it to 24 inches. The group raised $2,290 for the American Cancer Society.