Controversies Abound in Chaotic Finish to the Automatik [Argument] Open
Updated: Aug 17
SUNNYVALE, CA (Golf Digest)
Peter and Doug Ellsworth spent their summers in the 1990s riding motorcycles together at the notoriously treacherous 22-mile Rubicon trails in the Sierra Nevadas. To survive these uber technical, bolder infused tracks takes a tremendous amount of teamwork, trust, and discipline. It was during these three-day annual trips, where injuries, damaged bikes, and inclement weather were the norm, that a deep bond of trust and teamwork was forged by the Ellsworths, one that thirty years later would prove to be instrumental to carry them to victory at the 8th annual Automatik Open.
Led by back-to-back individual natural birdies by the father-son duo on holes 12 and 13, Team Triple Lindy shot an -11 59. And after sinking a 20-foot putt birdie putt on the famous 18th hole peninsula green, the team, comprised of the Ellsworths, Mike Hale and Scott Petersmeyer, celebrated what appeared to be a one-shot victory.
But their euphoria was short lived as rumors quickly circulated about a potential White Tiger ball rules infraction by Team Triple Lindy. A tense debate ensued with three factions emerging: (1) the letter of the law proponents who believed that Team Triple Lindy should be penalized because they failed to use the White Tiger ball on one shot, (2) the spirit of the rule advocates who believed that inadvertently forgetting to use the White Tiger ball on a chip shot did not warrant a penalty, and (3) the Aholes who just wanted to stir the pot and create more drama (you know who you are).
After a tense 20-minute standoff, where harsh words were exchanged and friendships were tested, the integrity committee, chaired by Ben Wilson, who averaged 6 points and four rebounds on the Los Altos High School JV basketball team as a Sophomore, determined that the matter would be put to a secret vote.
The tension was palpable as the votes came in, and in storybook fashion, the final tally was deadlocked at 6 to 6. As a result, for the second time in Open history, the outcome of the tournament would be decided by. . . a game of quarters.
And when the extremely calm and composed Petersmeyer sunk the final shot on his first or second (or ninth) attempt, Team Triple Lindy could finally celebrate in earnest an asteriskless championship, the first for team captain Peter Ellsworth. “This means a lot to me. I have been so close to getting the green jersey numerous times, including two years ago when we narrowly lost in a playoff. I am just glad we all kept a level head and came to a fair and democratic outcome,”exclaimed Ellsworth, who was spotted wearing his green jersey under his scrubs at Stanford Hospital earlier today.
Team Gym Tanning Nap, which included Danny Woodhead, Drew Braugh and Mark Meyer, finished in second place, narrowly missing the jersey despite stellar play from the team, highlighted by Woodhead’s chip in for birdie on the 8th hole. But just hours after Team Gym Tanning Nap had lodged their own formal protest against Team Triple Lindy which led to the aforementioned secret ballot, this Hollywood story took another unexpected twist when an anonymous source informed thetournament’s integrity committee that Team Gym Tanning Nap spent 8 minutes searching for, and ultimately locating, the White Tiger ball on the 11th hole, a clear violation of Rule 18.2 which expressly states, "Your ball is lost if not found in three minutes after you or your caddie begin to search for it.”
The integrity committee has announced a full investigation and Team Gym Tanning Nap has been placed on probation while the investigation is pending. “We take these matters very seriously and have engaged a reputable firm to conduct a formal investigation. There will be no further comment at this time, ”proclaimed Wilson, the owner of an extremely rare Gem Mint 10 rated Roger Clemons 1985 rookie card, which for some reason is not in its original protective case.
Team Lady Bugs finished in third place at -8, the three-person and five hamstringed Team Heat Boys finished in fourth at -7 and Team Bridesmen earned DFL at -6.
In other news, a more mature crew curbed its intake this year with “only” 44 Modelos, 51 White Claws, 13 Fireball shots, and 3 dip and Zyn pouches being consumed during the competition. Mark Meyer took home his second long drive title by hitting a majestic 330-yard drive on the 10th hole, Petersmeyer won the closest to pin award, Peter Ellsworth won the Super Darryl of the weekend award, and Mike Popek won the first ever 50/50 raffle, and then generously turned around and donated a sizable chunk of his winnings to cancer research. While the final tallies are coming in, it is anticipated that the group will raise over $3,000 for the American Cancer Society this year.
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